So, many folk who know me have seen over the years, my adventures, trials and tribulations, in finding my soulmate. It wasn’t always pretty, but it did always provide much entertainment – if only in hindsight.
I’ve spent at least the past 10 years in especially-concerted-efforts towards bonding on a deep level with a partner who is synchronised with all my uniqueness, passion, colour, flare, determination, intuition, expressiveness and rest of it.
My friends and family have responded in multifarious negative ways to Mission Soulmate; from urging caution and suggesting that I take my time, to retrospective ‘I told you so’s and ‘well, you did rush in rather quickly, didn’t you’.
And if I’d gone along with that; gone slower, shown less passion, taken my time – yeh, great: I’d probably be plodding along now in a super-dull repetitive cycle with some average bloke who… well…at least I could just about tolerate.
However, my all-in approach has proved itself both successful and highly constructive: it has brought me to perpetually deeper spiritual truth, and taken me on multiple adventures which have made life rich and meaningful.
So here are 5 tips on how to find your soulmate – some ideas which might support you finding a soul connection and keeping it alive.
ONE: COME FROM YOUR CORE
You must come from your core; be connected and consciously acting from your centre and your deepest truth: that is what soul is. You must know yourself deeply – particularly, you must have a very clear idea, and be on a clear trajectory with, your life purpose – when you are, there’ll be mutual resonation even from afar, with another person who is on a similarly deep path.
TWO: BE VISIBILE
You must express your core being and beliefs out in the world in some way – make yourself visible. Whether that’s hanging out in places where other soulful folks congregate (i.e. probably not a pub), or if it’s setting up a profile on an appropriate dating website.
The deeper you live, the less pool there is to fish from, as it were. This is a very positive factor, not a limitation! Discernment is vital: that you truly express all that you are and believe, and that you’re able to see if the person you come into contact with is also on that level.
It’s all about opening a channel where you can be seen by your future twin flame – and seen in all your truth, not a caricature or dumbed-down-for-a-bigger-audience-to-digest: remember that you’re looking for ‘The One’, not a whole variety of ‘ones’.
THREE: DO THE WORK
You must get the majority of your shit (i.e. your repeating patterns of familiar discomfort) out of the way – all the stuff which keeps you from moving forward into your ecstasy. These blocks are pretty easy to nail down: they’re the things which come up again and again, and become more pronounced as you age.
It’s not about what isn’t happening, in these dynamics: it’s about what you feel and how it blocks you from what you want to feel.
You can ride blocks like a wave, if you take sufficient conscious time to ruminate and see your life from a slightly-more-objective viewpoint. The more you look with compassion at the places where you’re blocked, the more you can see them as useful stepping stones to reach a place where you actually want to be.
Initially, practise, practise, practise: do test run relationships, learn wherever you can – always seeking connection. It’s as important to know what you don’t want and can’t tolerate, as it is to know what you do want and what brings you joy.
Non-soul-mate relationships also give you something to navigate from; when you’ve been in non-harmonious union with another, it’s even clearer what the difference is when you really do resonate on a soul level.
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, nor of talking about them! There are significant social taboos around jumping in deep to relationship, around talking about what you feel, and about being completely open emotionally.
The taboo on them doesn’t make these things wrong – in fact, openness might be the saving of the human race! We can de-mysticise intense relationship dynamics, loosen up collective shame of them, by speaking about them. Thus help to educate each other about the Way to more and more truth, happiness and bliss.
FIVE: MAKE THE SPACE!
You must have space in your life, your home, your work schedule. Unless you want a conventional, absentee 9-5, weighed-down-by-their-work lover, you have to show up yourself in all the freedom and creative abundance that you want to celebrate in coupledom.
SIX: GIVE EVERYTHING!
You must give it everything – if you really want everything, you must act like you both deserve it and show that you can support and nourish it in another human being.
That means never-giving-up; never settling for ‘okay’, never giving in to negative ruts of ‘I’m never going to find him’, or ‘There’s something wrong with me’ – nor of settling into a negative dynamic in a relationship, just because the person is there.
Really, if one is on a soul path, every relationship is the soul mate in that moment: the person with whom to do soul work.
The right person will come to you at the right time, and when it happens, you’ll see how you were resisting it or didn’t have space for it, before.
If you know deep down that you want to fly; to raise energy, to plug into the divine source, to be unbound by conventional or unconventional limitations – get going making the space, doing the inner work, preparing yourself to meet him/ her/ it – it may take years, but it’ll be more than worth the wait!