Miscarriage, Meaning, Catharsis

podcast on miscarriage, meaning, catharsis

BLOGCAST SERIES ON THE SACRED FEMININE – 10

I felt strongly called to speak about this subject(s), after coming across an art book that I created in 2007 – Growth-Catharsis – and seeing it with fresh eyes, whilst currently trying to conceive.

The book project was a direct ‘transcribing’ of my experience at the time of miscarriage. Now, I have access to multiple forums where we are talking at length about womb-work, about womben’s experiences, Life from womb-centred perspectives. At the time of my miscarriage, and more-so 10 yrs before (as I talk about in this podcast), there was no language around what was happening and what my ‘choices’ were.

In fact, in retrospect, it felt like the men in my life made the decision by default: the world was their privilege – their ‘logic’ held the sway in terms of what was ‘allowed’ to transpire, or not. I speak at the end of the podcast, to this; to what it is when we have Life trying to expansively manifest through us, but are convinced by the superficial, fear-full, ‘logic’ of “this cannot happen right now”.

Catharsis, painting which evolved into another painting…

This is such a metaphor for the frictional polemic between patriarchy and the sacred feminine, and it makes me think strongly about the deep masculine – who likely would have turned up/ stuck around, if I’d demanded it and gone ahead with my pregnancies… and the toxic feminine, who submits inappropriately, backs down when the slightest resistance in met, and boils in resentment of ‘what should’ve been’.

Seeing this complex entanglement of 4-cornered dynamic: sacred feminine ‘vs’ toxic masculine, crossed by deep masculine ‘vs’ toxic feminine, helps me see what our solution can be: the toxicity is essentially weakness or lack of maturity – it’s operating from fear-tension-pain, rather than sovereignty-bliss-expansion – both are valid realities. Both need the positive aspects of each other, in order to move forward: both are trying in their own way to keep the world safe and working: one from tense controlling, the other from floppy passivity. Neither are ‘better’ than the other: this is about how we bring this divided quadrant into yin-yang harmony…

Self-Evolution, painting from 2007 – collection of Glasgow Women’s Library

I hope that this podcast can be heard outwith any cultural and societal negative projections onto abortion and/ or womben’s sovereignty in their mind-body-spirit. This open sharing is a gift to our collective womb consciousness, a calling to let go of our shared wounds and our frictional relationship between the yin and the yang of humanity.

The book mentioned will be shared on my Patreon hopefully later today.

Much love, and gratitude for listening and witnessing xx

Women And Language

BLOGCAST SERIES ON THE SACRED FEMININE – 4

I felt a sentience around language rise up in the past year or so – centred around the embodied sense of my own not-yet-learned mother tongue, which would’ve anchored my intimate relationship with land, season, community and all things. I felt this all aligning inside me – a ripeness of it being ready to awake, and the unfolding of a wider view of the world, unrestricted by the rigidity of mainstream language norms.

A podcast with Tiokasing Ghosthorse reconnected this non-linear sentience with my front-lobe, conventional-logic mind. His elegant explanation around the quantum difference between his people’s Lakota language, and English confirmed my growing intuitive around indigenous languages, and what is lost when they are undermined – or violently oppressed (as with Scottish Gàidhlig): a people’s intimate relationship-with-all-things is so effectively, deeply censored, by their having a language of competition, separation, compartmentalising replace their own.

English in particular is a language rooted in Empire and subjugation of all things natural, papal power and assumption of supreme white man as god authority: this separates us profoundly from spirit, from feeling, from deeper knowing. A language with such roots also asks us to stay at the front of the brain pushing forward, to push from the front of the tongue and mouth forcing our will on the world. It makes us ignore heart and pelvis, and thus to lose the immense creative power of our being whole, and using the sum-of-our-parts as one great force for Life.

It’s powerful to live in a time when we are relearning the many languages that have been oppressed through destruction of our indigenous tongues: ecological, wholistic word-structures, the language of sentience and of the sacredness of Life, of the liberated mind-body-spirit – and the language of the deep feminine.

podcast on women and language, and the divine feminine

My own life has been blessed and enriched both through being immersed in multiple languages from countries other than my own (German, Greek, Italian), and through re-finding languages that I hadn’t understood earlier were so incredibly valuable, and necessary – languages with depth, meaning and treasure in them; the language of pain, the language of poverty, the voice of my pelvis and core energy source, and my own land’s mother tongue.

I spent at least 3 decades immersed in the intuitive-spontaneous act of making art, largely to gain alignment with Truth, with the synchronicity of Life – thus to stabilise and harmonise everything around me.

But what unfolded in parallel with this fluency in the language of the sentient world, was a proficiency in the language of the sacred feminine: this vital force so powerfully held in the dark from peoples’ lives, and so efficiently kept from our structures of power.

As I feel the language of the deep feminine flowing through me, via my knowing my own body more and more, through unblocking stuck patterns, through speaking emotion when it calls out, through finding throat-lungs-heart-mind interconnectedness via my mother-tongue… Through listening to the voice that flows through all things – I begin to be whole, and I become a part of a whole world again. Not a static, cold, dead world of ‘logic’ but a – vibrant, dynamic, alive world of Life.

I am an intimate part of this Life-full world, as we all are: we’re all movers within the intimate fabric of the world; through our knowing its vibration through our whole being – through speaking the True language of all things – we become fluent speakers of our indigenous wisdom.

And here’s an additional video on Learning A Language Successfully 🙂

I’ll be announcing openings in the new year for The Divine Creative mentoring programme, which will be supporting the immense creative potential of wise humans like yourself, in challenges like this reweaving of the divine feminine into our world… In the meantime:

Click here to download a current copy of my art catalogue – and here to see my arthouse for sale website.

Go to Vacation With An Artist to learn how you can visit Guardia Sanframondi in Italy, and work side by side with me in my studio.

And visit The School of Real Art on Teachable, to get immediate access to my teachings and podcast collections – plus see The Divine Creative to hear about my soon-to-launch mentoring programme.

Blessings on your day, and on your creative expansion into the divinity of life,

WOMEN AND ANGER

BLOGCAST SERIES ON THE SACRED FEMININE – 3

Women’s anger is still one of the greatest taboos of our modern culture, in relation to our health, wealth and happiness. We are allowed to be present at the table, supported in relationships, feel safe in the community, belong and be held in the family – so long as we keep a lid on our rage.

This has an immense negative effect particularly on our mental and emotional health, as we stuff down emotions that should be effortlessly allowed to rise and disperse.

Years and decades of this, and we become chronically under-energised: our vitality gets in the habit of just holding in, and our whole being begins to literally wind down for the end…

Why is our anger such a vital force in the world? What is not happening because women are not stamping their foot, raising their voice, expressing a non-negotiable NO? What is continuing to unfold, because we are not getting angry?

Apart from our own health and sense of self being severely undermined, our whole collective direction is compromised; women’s standing up for a world which isn’t based on unsustainable patriarchal abuses of power – this involves speaking emotionally and assertively in every area of Life.

painting: laughing at anger, 2001
painting: laughing at anger, 2001

A deep feminine voice unleashed, at the appropriate moment, in a humble and respectful way, and towards a situation that is malleable and ripe for change, can have immense transformative effect. It can halt rivers and change the direction of civilisations.

In contrast, that same voice, held back when it is being called for, leaves a void – where abusive power can continue to fill the space-between-all-things.

I have often felt that if we’re not angry about the state of the world, we’re not looking at it very deeply at all. In this podcast, I talk about how we can better use our anger as the alchemical force that it is supposed to be:

Please feel welcome to comment under this blog, about your own perspective and experience of anger.

I’ll be announcing openings in the new year for The Divine Creative mentoring programme, which will be supporting the immense creative potential of wise humans like yourself, in challenges like this reweaving of the divine feminine into our world… In the meantime:

Click here to download a current copy of my art catalogue – and here to see my arthouse for sale website.

Go to Vacation With An Artist to learn how you can visit Guardia Sanframondi in Italy, and work side by side with me in my studio.

And visit The School of Real Art on Teachable, to get immediate access to my teachings and podcast collections – and see The Divine Creative to hear about my soon-to-launch mentoring programme.

Blessings on your day, and on your creative expansion into the divinity of life,

Creativity and Birth: Divine Creative Flow

BLOGCAST SERIES ON THE SACRED FEMININE – 2

The Divine or Sacred Feminine seemed like a theme ‘out of my league’ as I begin this challenge, but entering the creative Flow with an anchor as profound as this couldn’t help but bring some magic to light!

I immediately realised that the divine feminine has been at the core of my whole life-work, healing, purpose… and so this series endeavours to use that very immersion to transmit some practical wisdom or insight into what The Divine Flow really is.

It is genuinely mystical, sometimes even miraculous, what happens when we step into the creative void, with a lightly-held anchor like this. We all have access to the Divine, we all are embodiment of powerful creative expansive forces; there is no-one on this Earth who isn’t an energetic manifestation in flesh, and who doesn’t have the capacity to align deeper and deeper with their inherent ability as a kind of cosmic alchemist.

Radiance, painting on wood, 2019

We can understand this mystical miraculousness, by looking at the creative act: both the engagement in artistic immersion, and the immersion of a human womb-an in the ecstatic flow of birthing a child. Both pull away veils from our relationship with divine creative flow. Both demand significant self-awareness (or peace within self), surrender, willingness to allow the unknown to unfold.

And both are examples of human consciousness in union with The Infinite – whether you name that as a deity, see it as pure field of intelligence, or whatever – a real, tangible, omni-and-ever-present magic in all of reality, that calls us to commune in it.

In the unfolding of this Divine Feminine conversation, I’m becoming more and more aware of the limitations (and/ or possible potential for misinterpretation) of the patriarchal, polemic language that is modern English. It can feel clunky to speak about mystical shit with little nuggets of truth (with a small ‘t’!) that only hint at it, and that can only be accessed by someone nearby Truth, who just needs a wee tweak to help them delve into it… This language that so many of us are using, wasn’t designed to promote harmony and peace, joy and illumination! (blogcast number 4 in this series will discuss language-and-the-deep-feminine further)

As ‘mystical alchemists’ in this place and time, we have to be careful to assure that each word, each spoken sentence, is aligned with our deeper sentience and whole-bodied knowing in each and every moment. It’s about all of us, always, moving more into Flow…

This is hard to do, when we have always more veils to pull away within ourselves, and ever-more areas of numbness to re-enliven… We might feel that we’re not ‘there’ yet, or that we have to be really good at doing this before we should really let it happen… But there’s a certain equilibrium of feeling, of trusting and letting ‘something’ flow through us (through our own inimitable uniqueness) – not any old thing flowing through; being skilled enough in our human being to hold the space for ‘something’ Divine, something mysterious, special, whole, pure, True – and to let it be us, our biodiverse intimacy of beingness. It’s all about tweaking, really!

The more we do this, enter into divine Flow, the more mastery we have of it. And slowly, our life becomes filled with Flow, and we radiate Flow, bring things into Flow, however we interact with all things.

Creative Flow, Birth, Ecstasy – Divine Flow

I’ll be announcing openings in the new year for The Divine Creative mentoring programme, which will be supporting the immense creative potential of wise humans like yourself, in challenges like this reweaving of the divine feminine into our world… In the meantime:

Click here to download a current copy of my art catalogue – and here to see my arthouse for sale website.

Go to Vacation With An Artist to learn how you can visit Guardia Sanframondi in Italy, and work side by side with me in my studio.

And visit The School of Real Art on Teachable, to get immediate access to my teachings and podcast collections – and see The Divine Creative to hear about my soon-to-launch mentoring programme.

Blessings on your day, and on your creative expansion into the divinity of life,

How The **** Do I Know When A Thing Is Finished?!

In asking for feedback for The Divine Creative mentoring programme -“what do you feel holds you back from your deepest creative power?” – one of the repeated responses was ‘how the hell do I know when an artwork/ a project is finished?’

It’s a prevalent problem in our modern culture of over-stimulation and distractedness – finishing anything becomes so much more difficult than just having a wee peek at my feed/ stream, or beginning something new…

We’re perpetually revved-up on adrenaline and caffeine, sugar and screens, tension and empty-calories – so our brains becoming very habituated in that shallow, jumpy energy that is useful for beginning things… But it keeps on firing the starting gun, even when we should be slowing down, or resting.

The ability to finish things is a precise indicator of our spiritual well-being. A chronic problem with finishing might mean a deeper lack of alignment on various levels; our confidence, a disconnect between mind-body-emotions-spirit, the way we’re organising our lives (or not), our attitude to how we present ourselves to the world.

It might take a lot of unpacking, but looking at how we finish our work (or not) – just bringing our awareness to the ways we’re procrastinating, or holding back, or feeling afraid – this can reveal a great deal. And in this way, we can subtly and gently tweak ourselves towards completion, resolution, wholeness.

It’s not about a big dramatic push towards the finish-line, but a skilled, practised, intelligent movement towards refinement of a thing. This is more often than not a deeply intuitive and felt thing, rather than a logical path made from specific steps. It comes from the doing, not from the thinking about doing.

As I mention in the podcast, I’ll be announcing openings in the new year for The Divine Creative mentoring programme, which will be supporting the immense creative potential of wise humans like yourself, in challenges like this one… In the meantime:

Click here to download a current copy of my art catalogue – and here to see my arthouse for sale website.

Go to Vacation With An Artist to learn how you can visit Guardia Sanframondi in Italy, and work side by side with me in my studio.

And visit The School of Real Art on Teachable, to get immediate access to my teachings and podcast collections – and see The Divine Creative to hear about my soon-to-launch mentoring programme.

Blessings on your day, and on your creative expansion into the divinity of life,